I long for the carefree days of being a teenager at times when all I had to worry about was doing homework and being in by curfew. However, I don’t have that luxury, the field that I work in, I see a lot of youth come through that have a lot more on their plate than that. I also see a lot of youth that try to act way older than they should and it slowly builds up to that crisis point where they end up in with us or somewhere else like a juvenile detention facility. Today’s youth are not being held accountable for their actions and are being allowed to get away with reckless, unpredictable and disrespectful behavior. There seems to be low punishment for the negative behaviors and at times they almost get some type of positive feedback out of it so they keep doing the behaviors.
There are people out there that give up their time to work in a field that gets no real acknowledgement for the service that it gives. The staff get yelled at and disrespected on a daily basis, they get told that they are being unfair when they are following the rules that are set down by their leaders and they try to explain this to their patients. I admire these men and women deeply and I feel honored to work next to them on a daily basis to give care to this group of people that at times can be so emotionally frail that one needs to handle them gently with understanding and caring to get through to them just a little. Sometimes the people we care for don’t realize the depth that we actually care in order to come in and work the job we do day in and day out. There are times that we get accused of just being in it for “the money”, and that is the furthest thing from the truth. On holidays when others are feasting with family and friends, caregivers are with the loved ones who cannot be there.
As the clock ticks down to the ending of another year, it is never really the end, time is unstoppable, it continues to move ever forward. As time moves forward it moves as the winds blow ever constant. It is elusive in that time is a commodity that we as humans need to value because we are only given so much of it, and need to savor each and ever day to it’s fullest. We are never garunteed tomorrow. So the next time that you come across a caregiver, take a moment and thank them for what they do for others. Sometimes it is nice to hear a thank you even though we never expect it, in our jobs of trying to provide a place that feels like a sanctuary where you can feel safe enough to share and open up so that you can get well.
So, I came back from vacation a few days early and I was both glad and horrified that I did. Walked into my apartment and discovered that my AC was not working. Called the emergency maintenance because the days had been extremely hot and muggy. When they called back I was told that, that was not considered an emergency and they’d have to look at it the next day. Now I’m not one to normally go all horridly evil on someone, but that evening I simply told him that I did not accept that because I paid way to much in rent to go without AC. So, a floor unit was brought over and hooked up.
That floor unit did help to cool things down as long as there wasn’t much moving around because it kept the apartment between 73 and 75 which when I had originally came home it was a very toasty 75. I’m used to it being like 67-69 degrees in my apartment. So the next week this was mine and Velvet’s existence.
Finally, yesterday my AC was officially fixed and my apartment is back to the coolness I like. Overall those days with just the floor unit weren’t horrible. I’m just spoiled since I moved up here into an apartment with AC, because growing up we didn’t have it at home.
With all that has been happening recently it makes you wonder about what’s happening to the values of people today. Hate breeds more hate and that is what we are doing with all this stuff going on. People waving their Black lives matter signs and say “if you argue against it then you don’t understand”. No, what I understand is simple basic truth no matter what ALL LIVES MATTER. it doesn’t matter your race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, etc. All lives matter. We all bleed if we are cut. I know that I’m stepping on very thin ice saying any of this, but things need said.
We need to come together more than ever now and become stronger and more unified. This country is falling apart right in front of us and we are allowing it to happen. Everyone is blaming everyone else, but we need to stand up and take responsibility for our part in this and work together to fix things.
Let’s use our drive to make positive changes. Be good to each other, teach our kids the value of a hard earned dollar and respect for your elders, as well as clear consequences for any negative behaviors they exhibit. Help those that need it when we can, and even be good to ourselves. Stop feeding the hate that is being bred and start breeding love, kindness and understanding.
I’ve had a more than a few nightmares in my life. When I was a kid I had a very vivid one that nuclear bombs had been set off, my mom was bringing clothes in from the clothes line. She comes in and has us all cover ourselves with a sheet, and just as we do a bomb hits in our garden. I wake as the heat sears through my body at that moment of death.
Then I had a dream it’s not as vivid, but I clearly remember that my dog at the time Baby I killed her. I was devastated when I woke up because of the dream. I told mom about it, and she wouldn’t let Baby sleep in my bed for a week just because of the dream. She knew I would never intentionally hurt her, I think it was a matter of the fact that I had had such a nightmare.
I have had different types of water dreams, but the constant theme in them is a fast running current. I’m driving fast down a road and I’m usually stuck somewhere, when I need to get to another place. I have a feeling that I’m running late and I need to hurry. I have on numerous occasions ended up with my car floating down the current with me on top of the car hoping for help to come.
A great deal of the time I don’t remember my dreams, but I do wake up with a sense of dread. I’ve woke up crying before, but no idea what I was dreaming that had me crying. Not sure if anyone else has experienced these types of things, but this happens more times than not.
Been on vacation all week. It has been so nice to not have to do anything at all, except relax and spend time with my family. Mom and I have taken her and my dog for at least a golf cart ride everyday if not two a day. Buddy, moms dog will whine and bark and pretty much talk the entire time, while, Velvet just sits in my arms or stands on the floor with her head hanging out the side just quietly enjoying the ride.
We’ll stop at the park and take them for a walk as well and let them take in all the scents. Until recently Velvet would barely wait for the cart to stop before getting off it and starting the walk. Here recently we have had to coax her off. I think a lot of it has to do with the recent holiday that just passed and all the fireworks. Velvet doesn’t like fireworks at all.
When she was a puppy I took her to the fireworks, because the last dog I had loved the fireworks so I thought if I exposed her early to these types of things she would get used to them and be fine. Boy was I wrong. That was a painful night for mom and I both as Velvet clawed us up trying to get away from the noise. We took turns holding her and soothing her to no avail. So, now she stays home with Buddy and Grandpa when I can come home to make it to the fireworks with mom.
It will be hard to go back when my vacation ends cause it’s been so nice hanging out with my mom, and seeing other family. However, vacations must end, and work must commence again so I can continue to pay bills. But for right now I’m enjoying a nice respite. Sometimes one needs a vacation in order to rejuvenate the desolate wasteland of their souls from work burn out. Once quenched and rejuvenated, then you can once again go back and be productive in your pursuits.
Don’t turn the lights out until your feet are on the bed. Otherwise, once the light goes out its free game for that monster under the bed to grab your ankles and pull you into his deep dark never ending abyss. The darkness is where the creatures and spirits dwell. They move here just out of reach and sight.
That uneasy feeling that comes when you are out walking at night, heed it. When the hair raises on the back of your neck, it’s not always because there’s”someone” there, it may be because there is “something” dark and dangerous lingering about you. They peer in your windows from the outside wishing for you to turn the lights out so they can come closer and whisper their evilness to you.
The darkness is like a seductive lover in the night caressing you. Calling to you to come to it and embrace it, however you must fight. Stay in the light, this is where love, understanding, and friendship can be found. Don’t walk alone, the darkness prefers it if you are alone and vulnerable. Have your objects of love, light and goodness on you to protect you. Tread carefully my friends.
When I saw forbidden it immediately took me back when I was extremely young, when my Grandpa was still alive. Now mind you this was my mom’s dad, and we lived in a 70 foot trailer on their land. I grew up for a few years on a farm and enjoyed when we harvested the corn and being in the wagon. Or after a particularly heavy rain there was a ditch in the pasture so we’d go swimming in the ditch.
Anyhow, my Grandpa had a small area of grapes that he grew, it wasn’t a lot but it was some. We were forbidden to touch the grapes under severe consequences if we did. The grapes were for his wine making endeavors. Bout the only time we ever were allowed to touch the grapes was to help mash them for the juice. The kids used to dare each other to go in Grandpa’s grape vines and pick grapes as some sort of initiation or something.
I so wish I could have had the time to know my mom’s parents better. They both died when I was very young, and feel I missed out on some good lessons. On that note, I wish you were still here, RIP Grandma and Grandpa.